Stray Years.

Hey, It’s the Psychotherapist extraordinaire Ufana Ishoyor, How you all doing? Personally, I’d say I’m great or am I?

Today, I’m going down that lane, Yep, the teenage lane, the ‘find-you’ time in life which until recently I thought was mid-life crisis, thanks to Storm for bursting my bubble (meaning at some point in life, I’d still go through mid-life crisis, how sadly pleasing).

Alyson calls it ‘the Stray Years’, Storm calls it ‘Pre-life crisis’, I call it ... (don’t have a name yet, you know I always name to impress). But, unanimously, we all say it’s the fucked up teen hood period when we are supposed make irresponsible decisions and find out who we are to be or already are.

I can’t really call it depression because it’s not like Hazel Grace’s star fault but when I look at it closely, I’m no different from Hazel except I’m no lung damaged, in love but dying from cancer fictional character, I’m soul, ghost, flesh and blood, living in the only existence there is (i.e. for now, until proven otherwise. It’d be so cool to meet aliens one day, that’s hoping they don’t go all Independence day on us).

It’s quite annoying not getting what you want, but when you repeatedly stumble into the same block, it begins to almost feel like an annoying song the cab driver puts on loop because he finds it interesting while you who’s supposedly logical know that all the so-called musician is doing is mumbling jargons, the song is on loop and while they have a beautiful backdrop, the main essence is annoying, gut ripping and downright stupid (a typical example of such song is Dami Duro by Davido, also Gbese by Lil Kesh, Street Madness by Terry G, they’re great jams but make absolutely no sense), he could play better things but he’s chosen that one and you have no choice but to listen. That’s how it feels, you could get better but fate keeps throwing at you the ‘mare’ ones, you don’t have a choice, all you can do is hope that one day you’ll get it right. (This example so doesn’t cut it but I don’t know how best way to convey this feeling, please bear with me).

Life isn’t fair, Teenage hood is far from enjoyable for those of us who decided to ‘have sense’ or in the words of Stiles Stilinski “Grew up too fast”, and since we don’t think Sex is the utmost achievement in life, we get tossed around not shaft in the wind, but like dust, totally useless, directionless unless needed but who needs dust, the shaft has use, it helps ignite the coal during camping.

I learnt at a tender age that humans where expendable and no matter how nicely they treat you, once they feel you have no benefits whatever to them anymore, they’ll kick you out of their lives faster than Barry can run to get Pizza. They do not mind how attached you’ve gotten to them. So, I grew up and expected the worse of shit from even the closest of friends and family and surely, they’ve lived up to the “hurtpectation” but no matter how many times you’re hurt or even when you see it coming, the feeling still stings way better than that bitch who slapped you in public (please don’t pardon my foul language).

I hope to live this era someday, I hope to find a circuit love, I hope to be happy, I hope for a pleasing life in the after-life, I hope, I simply HOPE.

This is the ranting of an emotionally frustrated kid and while this may not be coherent and sequential, it’s logical.

P.S

Alyson started something and It’d mean a lot to me if y’all checked it out. It’s called the “Musings of a Masked Muse”. Check it at musemasked.wordpress.com. Thanks.

Your Nerd,
Ufana Ishoyor.

Comments

[Edgar Bukola Deborah]

I love love love!

[Ishoyor]

Thanks