15 Jun

I don't want to be in Love.

Published by Ishoyor - Categories: #Life, #Love, #Pack, #Thoughts, #Personal Thoughts, #Reflection

Love is an itch in the ass. It's annoying until you itch back, then it starts to feel strangely good, annoying but nice, like ice cream; sweet alongside the brain freeze, like sex; painful but pleasurable. In love, there's always a mix to the feeling; wonderful but stressful and most times the stress outweighs the wonder.

I don't want to know your name or your favourite colour, don't want your laps to be my favourite pillow or let your company become what I long for every minute. I don't want to be the pleasure that puts a smile on your face or the reason you cry yourself to sleep at night. the one you run to in times of need, I don't want you to get used to me like I have you, I don't want to be your favourite person... the one you love the most but somewhere deep in your subconscious, also dread the most. I simply want to be indifferent.

Yet I strongly can't think of a life without you. My fears are the joystick buttons and with them, I could easily navigate this game we're playing and win but still, I could press a wrong button and lose completely. Why does something so good and so right feel so wrong and so scary.

I set myself on a pedestal so high, claiming to be different, to be better but maybe I'm no different. Just maybe deep down, I'm like everyone else... caught up in the moment, maybe, just maybe....

There are many rules guiding, guarding and regarding love and on a daily basis, we're bombarded with promises from supposed lovers but in the end, it's a broken heart, sprawling to the next person with more doubts than the previous, more fears than the former, lot more heart pieces than anterior and less faith in the latter's words.

Hi, I'm Ufana Ishoyor and it'd be easier if I just kept me to myself. I hurt less but you'd be happy more. "I don't want to be in love cause I know what it is and what it does" but I can't imagine a life without you.

#Peace.

#Pavesiloni.

#Ishoyokpelor.